The Bucklesisms Blog

My sister Buckles is a unique bish whom I love dearly. She is also a skankus and she does things that only a skankus-bish would do. These are called Bucklesisms. They are probably a bunch of "you had to be there moments", but here is a list of some of my favourite Bucklesisms:

Buckles loves to shop
It's in her genes. She gets a crazy burst of energy at the prospect of shopping and buys stuff for the sake of buying stuff. If you're out shopping with Buckles you'll need roller skates to keep up because she hits her turbo button and you need the speed of Kathy Freeman to keep up. An example of this is when we were in Hawaii. We had just awoken from a long nap and decided to head out on the town. We rode the elevator to the ground floor and I headed for the exit. I turned and realised Buckles hadn't followed, but I managed to see the back of her blur speedily into the hotel gift shop. I caught up with her and she had a wide shopping grin on her face and wound up buying a spiffy hat that I saw her wear for about two days after that. We hadn't even made it out of the hotel before she was buying shit.

Buckles likes to cut her own hair
One time Buckles decided her fringe was too long. She grabbed a pair of scissors and sat on the couch opposite me. I almost told her not to cut it too short because they always bounce up, but I didn't because I figured she probably knew that already and didn't want me preaching at her. Two seconds later, Buckles' new spike (because it was far too short for a fringe) sat across her forehead and Buckles gazed aghast into her hand mirror. I, of course, heartily laughed telling her I thought she knew not to cut it too short. She replied, "You should have said something!" I guess this is a lesson we must all learn the hard way.

There was also the time that Buckles thought it'd be a great idea to shave her head. I followed her into the bathroom (with a camera) where she had draped a towel across her shoulders and held a pair of scissors in her hand. "Do you want me to shave your head with the clippers when you've finished chopping?" I politely inquired.  I don't remember a reply, only a nervous gulp as Buckles took the plunge and lopped off a massive chuck of hair from the side of her head. I snapped a photo (but won't embarrass her by posting it here) of her horrified face and my hideous contorted in laughter face, and I knew she immediately regretted it. Mum spent the rest of the night trying to find a style that would cover the spiky hair poking out from the side of her head. hahahahah Bucklesism.

Drunk Buckles
Oh the stories I could tell... but, I will narrow them down to this: Last year Buckles came with me to see Crashdiet play. In Melbourne we got separated in the rowdy crowd. After the show, I lumbered around after being thrown around and bashed down the front to find her. She was sipping from a jug of beer up the back and she was a good way through it, too.

Then there was the time mum and I are chatting quietly in the loungeroom one night when we hear a banging and keys jingling at the front door. Buckles burst through talking to herself. She drops her keys and bends to pick them up - still talking jibberish - and realises it's too much effort to try and stand up again, so she crawls across the floor on her hands and knees to the dining room where she uses the table to get back on her feet. She drops her keys on the table but they fall on the floor again and she jibber jabbers off down the hall.

Buckles gets great ideas, then loses interest
Buckles decided to get healthy and go on a diet. "I'm going on a diet!" She proclaimed loudly one day. "I need to get healthy." She gets on the Google and looks up a diet that suits her purposes and goes off to buy a bunch of food, including: a heap of fruit, vegetables and some steak. She tells everyone that breakfast tomorrow will consist of grapefruit and coffee and she was very enthused about finally getting healthy. The next morning Buckles slices her grapefruit, makes her coffee, gets comfortable on the couch and takes a bite. Her face contorts in disgust as she looks at the half chewed chunk of grapefruit that now sat back on the plate as though it just informed her she would never be able to shop again. She declares it the most vile thing she has ever put in her mouth and that was the end of her diet. It lasted 30 seconds.

Buckles likes to bump her head.
It has become so frequent that when she says she's bumped her head, we roll our eyes and say, "again?!" In Hawaii, we did a tour where we were driven around in a huge van. Buckles gets in and bumps her head. Not just a little bit, but nice and hard. She whinged about her sore head for ages while I suppressed an urge to laugh. We get out and do our tour and get back in the van to go leave. Buckles bumps her head again, loudly this time. "OW!" She yells and the funny Hawaiian drivers turns around and says, "that's two time you do that!" He doesn't know the half of it.

Buckles likes to laugh at other people's misfortunes, but don't you laugh at hers...
 It's true. If you make the mistake of tripping over, bumping your own head or even singing badly to Van Halen songs in the Skydive caravan/office when you think no one else is in there in front of her, she will laugh until her sides hurt. This is very unfair, because she can get a bit cranky if you return the favour. Like the time we were walking the dogs one day. She forged on ahead of me and I noticed a giant rip in the back of her pants. I laughed my arse off and gleefully informed her of this. She got cranky about her pants splitting, but not as cranky as she was with me for delighting in it so much. I was on the receiving end of her "attitude face" for a while after that.

That might be enough for now. There are many, many more Bucklesisms, but I'll save them for part two.

Love you, skankus!

How christianity fucked with my head.

This is an account of my experience and perceptions and not an attack on christians or christianity. I'm not blaming them or it for anything bad that happened in my life, it was an experience and I learned from it.

When I was about 10 a lot of bad stuff happened. My parents separated, we changed schools a lot, bad stuff happened there, my dad became a christian and my mother was an adulterous harlot bound for hell unless she repented and I began having bouts of "bronchitis" which were later diagnosed as acute asthma attacks. It was a tumultuous and confusing time.

The phrase "just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong" didn't seem to apply to christians. You're either wrong or right and you're either going to hell or heaven. The only way into heaven, as my understanding was, was to ask Jesus into your heart. It was simple enough to do this, and I pretended to on many occasions but I couldn't do it. All one had to do was pray to Jesus and ask him to come into your heart and guide you on the right path into heaven and obey the 10 commandments. (I'm not capitalising "god" because I don't think 'he' deserves it. It's an act of rebellion on my part and I'll probably end up in hell for it.) Christians giving their testimonies about how they found god reported the light and peace of Jesus filling them. They also felt his presence in their mind.

Christians consider it their godly mission to spread god's word to everyone. Many evangelists travelled to backwater developing countries to prey on - er, sorry, to preach to and help - those in need and convert them to christianity. So insidious is the nature of this religion that every non-christian is wrong and they are going to hell. The devil will make them his plaything, even christians partaking in demonic activities were going to hell unless they immediately ask god or Jesus or whoever the heck you're supposed to pray to for forgiveness. Spread god's word and you will be saved. But not even that assures your place in heaven. Nothing does as it up to god's discretion to admit whomever he pleases in the end, and no mere human can hope to presume how he thinks. Evidently our puny brains couldn't comprehend his wisdom, anyhow.

I bought right into it. I was an impressionable 10-11 year old and was so glad dad had brought god into our lives. We were saved from the fiery pits of hell! Although, as kids, we were automatically admitted into heaven. But sitting on the cusp of childhood, I wondered if I was still heaven-bound because I knew right from wrong. I hoped Jesus would come back before I got too old and had to account for my actions. God forbid!

I encountered many different types of christians. There were those who were pretty normal, they just wanted to live good lives and hang out with their churchy friends. There were those who were super happy. They felt god's presence in their lives and joyfully spread his word to anyone who'd listen, and those that didn't needed their mind's opened to receiving god's word. Then there were the super-spiro types. the ones that took it far too seriously, most of them came from or entered into mental institutions - no joke. Some of them were convinced god spoke to and worked directly through them. They were personally chosen by him to heal the sick, spread the word, deliver demons out of people and save people's souls. They heard his voice and possessed his power. These people scared the shit out of me. They had that crazed look in their eye. They never looked at you, they looked through you and you never knew what they were going to do.

One of these super-spiros took me aside after church one day and silently held my arm for a long while. There was no one around and I was freaking out. I thought he could read my mind and would tell me my thoughts were evil. After a few moments he eventually told me that all the bad stuff that had happened, the sickness, my mother's evil, adulterous ways and whatever else was god punishing me for being evil. I was confused. I thought as a kid I was exempt from evilness. But he was filled with god's power, so I accepted it. He went on to tell me god would stop punishing me when I had shown my mother the light, because she was on the path to hell. I believed him and I was terrified for both of us. I didn't want her to go to hell and I especially didn't want her going to hell because I hadn't tried hard enough to set her on the path to salvation!

Mum wasn't interested in my preaching at her. She blithely told me she didn't believe in god in that way. She believed in demonic things such as reincarnation and often indulged in the demonic practices of meditations and tarot cards. My own grandmother was an evil clairvoyant - how on earth was I going to get all these people into heaven?

There were many demonic things I had to renounce to ensure my own salvation. I had to hand over all my beloved books containing anything with magical themes - my cherished copy of Roald Dahl's Matilda being one of them. Anything magical was demonic (I smirk now at christian discourse on the evils of the Harry Potter books and I delighted in the fact I actually enjoyed them when I got around to reading them), and one of my biggest conundrums was not committing the sin of lying because I kept telling people I had actually asked Jesus in my heart when I never actually did. I prayed for forgiveness about it many times, because not only was I lying about it, I hadn't asked Jesus into my heart in the first place. Was I doubly doomed? Did Jesus hate me? Maybe I was still safe in the kidzone, if only I could save my mother from hell then I'd be set.

I fretted so much over Jesus' return to take the faithful 'home' to heaven. According to Sunday school teachers and other christians everywhere, we were in the end times and his return would be soon. Although nobody could presume to know god's will and could therefore never know exactly when this would happen. I hoped his return would be soon, so I might be safe from asking him into my heart while I was still a kid, but not before I'd saved my mother from hell. Why did I not just asked him into my heart and get it over with? I was scared to death about having his presence in my mind and having his light in my heart, but most of all I was terrified I was beyond saving and he wouldn't accept me as one of his own. After all, god saw fit to punish me so, I must've been pretty bad.

All this conflicted greatly with the Bible verse - I forget which one - about god being love. "Those who don't know god, cannot know love for god is love" or some such.

God also likes to test his followers. One of the tests I'd hear the adults talking about was demonic manifestations. It was also a good opportunity for the devil to lure a person back to the dark side. These manifestations, as I understood, were demons manifesting to the loyal christian to test their ability to cast demons out in Jesus' name. Demons can't bear to hear the lord's name and would therefore flee in fear at the mere mention of it. I remember hearing dad talk about his experience where a demon appeared on his bed one night. He cast it out in Jesus name and it scarpered away. It frightened the hell out of me to think there was a demon in the house! What if I saw one and I didn't say Jesus' name with enough conviction to cast it out? Would I become possessed? Holy hell, I was doomed.

When I was about 11, I asked my dad when he thought Jesus would return. He gave me the spiel about no one knowing god's will, but predicted it to be about another 10 years. I freaked out, I'd be an adult by then, better ask Jesus into my heart soon, time was running out. It's now been 20 years and counting...

To me, christianity was a very fear-based religion. Abide god's will OR ELSE. God would punish you, maybe even smite you and you'd end up in hell along with all those you failed to save. But as long as you tried your best, right? I didn't get the impression that was how it worked.

It wasn't until my teens that I began to question the validity of all these godly claims. How were all these evil non-christians nonchalantly getting on with their lives? It didn't look to me as though god was punishing them. They didn't seem to be living in fear of going to hell or seeing demons on their beds in the middle of the night. Some of them even appeared to be living happy, content lives. Was god leading them into a false sense of security? When I looked around I saw more unhappy christians than non christians. Christians did a lot of things non christians did, i.e. smoking, pre-marital sex etc but they did it with a side of guilt.

I began asking questions. My big one of the time was, "If god is all-knowing and powerful, shouldn't he have known that humans would be evil when he gave us all free will?" The answer I mostly received was "we can't know god's will" or the real clanger to answer any difficult question, "god works in mysterious ways." To me the Tower of Babel story made god sound like a vindictive prick. But that was an old testament story and shouldn't be paid much attention. I never did understand why we should pay more attention to the new testament. Why even bother with the old one? The ten commandments to which we all must abide are in the old testament...

 From year five to year 9 I was enroled in a christian school. Which was great compared to the crap school I came from. Days at this school began with doctrine - a passage of the bible read and talked about and a prayer. Lessons were given with a christian slant. I can remember one particular doctrine lesson teaching us the J.O.Y principle. If we lived by it we would be happy. We only had to consider Jesus first - what would Jesus do? Then we had to consider Others before we considered You (ourselves). I spent a lot of time wondering what Jesus would do about trivial things, such as deciding what to wear to church.

At about 14 or 15 I started experimenting. I would swear to see what would happen. I'd tell a small white lie. I'd read a book about magical things or ask mum about reincarnation and guess what? Nothing happened. Life went on as normal. I didn't get punished. God didn't send a lightning bolt from the heavens to smite me. Eventually I stopped feeling guilty for questioning god's will and life still goes on.

Today, I don't believe in a christian god. If there was a such an all-powerful being I tend to think it would have better things to do than watch over earth and all its humans. God supposedly endowed us with free will, yet wants to punish anyone who uses it? How does that work.. oops. don't ask questions because god works in mysterious ways.

I don't blame people who buy into it. I actually think the community of christianity is its strongest point. It helps people and some people need it, it gives people purpose and who am I to question that? I accept that they feel it's their duty to spread god's word hither and thither. I've heard god's word and I didn't care for it. Judge me all you want, but remember: "judge not lest ye be judged".

Bleuighhhglwsidfgjns

When I was an angsty teenager, I wrote a poem that went something like, 

"The aliens have landed inside of my head.
Nothing can be done and nothing can be said."

I still have no idea what it means, but when my head fills up with crap, that phrase floats around my thoughts like a banner on the back of a aeroplane.

My head is once again full of crap, so I thought I'd unload some of it before filling it up again - it's also a good way for me to procrastinate.

Well, I have been a little bit busy lately. I whinged and complained to anyone who'd listen about needing some more work and I got it. Be careful what you wish for, folks, you just might get it. 

It's physical, which I like, but it gives me far too much time to think. The other day I was painting pointless beams that run from a garage to a house and do absolutely nothing and getting cranky at the homeowner's obsession with prickly creeping vines, when all the bad things that have ever happened to me bombarded my brain.

I got angry and upset before my self-esteem plummeted. It was so random, I have no idea what triggered it, but by the end of it I was convinced I was a fugly and stupid waste of oxygen. Then, as I was driving home, cars kept flashing their headlights at me to warm me of a sneaky cop speed trap and then the random 'waaah-waaah' session evaporated and I felt normal again. It was like the random light-flashers cared enough about me to warm me and that seemed to make everything OK. Even though I was nothing to them.

I've been getting constant headaches lately, as well. I'm not sure if they are due to my shitty computer posture, too much time in the sun or the fact my mop of hair has reached that stage of unmanagability where it sits heavy on my head when I pull it back. Haircut this week, fo' sho'.

I am UBER excited about my trip. Only 62 days! Everything is booked and paid for except for some day tours I might do in between my tours.

I've gone through my tour itineraries so many times they're becoming dog-eared, but I can't help it. It will be really interesting to see if the world does end on the 22nd December, because I'll be over there where the whole "2012" thing started. To be exact, on the 22nd December I'll be in Colca-Canyon in Peru. Which is more an Incan locale than a Mayan one, but close enough.

On Christmas day I'll be in a place called "Puno". We will be one a homestay where we stay overnight on an island called "Amantani". The itinerary warns us of the very basic living conditions we'll experience; periodic electricity and bathroom facilities that are supposedly "not the best". 

New years eve will be spent on third day of the Inca Trek. Apparently I'll be walking 15kms at 2450m above sea level, which means new years day will be spent at Machu Picchu. I am so excited to be bringing in the new year (if the world hasn't ended) at Machu Picchu. Sure beats what I did last Christmas and new year. Last Christmas was spent lying around on the couch with a mad hangover and new years I laid around on the couch with Nugget and a book about Incan ruins, as it happens.

But before all that happens I have to get through my final two uni subjects. I hate them oh so much. They are so full-on. One subject wants us to write weekly articles (only 100 words, but must include interviews) and 100-300 word discussion board posts which must be fully referenced..blah, blah, blah. It's like they want me to use my brain or something.

I have been enjoying re-watching Stargate SG1. It's such a cheesy show full of so many plot holes, but I love the concept. And Richard Dean Anderson.

On top of all this, we adopted a dog called Angus. He's very cute, but it's been a bit of a headache integrating him into our routine and the other dogs' routines. I love my doggies so much and I think Ruby can tell time. If the time has passed walking time Ruby sits and stares at me, just to let me know she knows what time it is and she expects to be walked. Walk time is the highlight of their day. I wish it was the highlight of mine.


Well, I think that's mostly everything off my mind. Maybe I can concentrate on these uni readings now.

Future Planning

I hate planning stuff, especially long-term kind of stuff. I'm at the tail-end of my degree now, so people are asking me what I'm going to do after that. Well, this is my half-thought out plan.

The first thing I'm going to do is go on my trip. Funnily enough, I only realised the other day the day I fly out the exact day my final study period officially ends. I thought there'd be a about a week difference. That means I won't have to rush around trying to get assignments finished early.

 I originally wanted to do my trip earlier this year, but it didn't happen for a number of reasons and I'm glad, because it would have been a rushed job in booking everything and this way I'm taking time to research, book and budget etc.

I'm excited to be going on my own, but there are some things I'm worried about. I'm worried I'll forget something or they won't like the look of me for some reason and they won't let me out of the country, or into Mexico or Peru. I'm worried I won't have enough time to get through customs at LAX to make my connection to Mexico. I'm worried I'll get stuck next to a group of toddlers on the flights over. I'm worried I'll lose my passport, I'm worried my cash card things won't work. I'm worried I'll get robbed or kidnapped or scammed somehow. The tour itinerary warns us to make sure the airport pick-up people are carrying officials Geckos logos because people get scammed and taken off with :|. I'm worried I'll run out of money, I'm worried the tours will be crap, or I'll get food poisoning or I'll accidentally drink the tap water and die.

But mostly I'm looking forward to it. lol. 

I have about four days in between tours to do whatever I want, which gives me time to go to a few little explored places like Coba and Ek Balam and I also want to go parasailing near Tulum in Mexico. But I'm worried about booking day tour things to do them because their websites are either in Spanish or are in poorly translated English. I'm going to the travel agent to sort it, because at least if they're crap I have someone to blame. heh.

So after six weeks (assuming they let me in and out of all these countries), I get back and then I'll have to really get stuck into the job hunt, not only because I'll be broke, but because I have to get out of Gloucester.

Where will I go? What will I do when I get there? Well, my plan is to find a job and go there. Yep, that's it. That's my entire plan. I'm willing to go anywhere but Sydney, but will go there for the right job. What kind of job do I want? Well, that's interesting. Is it possible to not hate your job? I hope so, because I really want to take time to make sure I get one I won't hate. One that pays me enough so that I'm not working just to pay bills. I do have a plan in regard to my dream job, but it's going to be very difficult and I don't want to jinx it so I won't say too much about it until I have something to say about it. :\.

In the meantime, I have to finish off the damn degree first and unluckily, I am not enjoying my final two subjects so far. But there's buttloads of work to do, so back to it, I guess.

It's cool to hate

It's cool to hate stuff, dontcha know? It's become an art form so ingrained in the psyche, that when I read a positive Facebook status someone posted the other day, it took me aback. I realised how rare this positivity phenomenon is. Why? Why do people revel in hating things? Trivial things? I figure mostly it's because it makes them feel superior to everyone who doesn't hate what they hate. Yet, when they do, they have to try and prove they hate it more than everyone else! Does that make sense? It also seems as though it's cool to hate certain things. So I made a list of things it seems it's cool to hate, but I, being the uncool dweeb I am, actually like. 

Facebook: how many times have you seen someone post about how much they hate Facebook on Facebook? They post things like "I hate the changes Facebook keeps making." OR "if anyone else clogs my newsfeed posting about a sporting event/TV show/celebrity death/wedding/Easter/ Christmas  etc. I will delete you." o0o0o0o0o do it, then. Go on, I dare ya! And when these Facebook-addicted Facebook haters are asked why they don't delete their account it's always everyone else's fault. "I can't leave Facebook. Everyone is on here and besides, it's an easy way to keep up to date with my favourite bands." or  "I just hate the commercialism of it all blah blah blah"... so many excuses.

I like Facebook. :o Yes, it's true! Don't hate me because I'm so uncool. I like it because it's a great way to keep in touch with the friends who live all over the place. I like that I can communicate and commiserate with my uni buddies on the Facebook page. I like reading people's boring status updates and I like looking through everyone's 9023429742 holiday or family photos. If you hate the ads on Facebook, install an adblocker. If you hate all the updates about a TV show or whatever, you have many options. Unsubscribe from the people, or, just GET OFF FACEBOOK FOR HALF AN HOUR. You won't die and by the time you come back it will have probably blown over and you can move on to the next thing on your "I hate" list.


Television: How many times have you had someone say to you, "I never watch television"? It's usually said with so much condescension you want to smack them in the nose and install spy cameras in their houses because you know they're lying their arses off. It's like they think they're so much better than everyone who does watch TV because all those people are brain dead halfwits. Well, whatever.

Guess what? I don't mind a bit of the good old idiot box. Admittedly, I mostly watch shows streamed from the net ad-free, but I'll admit to watching Big Brother. And for everyone who says that show is for teenagers with single digit IQs, I'm a full-grown adult with a triple digit IQ. Feel superior to me all you want, but I'm secure enough in myself to admit it and be judged. 

Nickelback: I totally don't understand the vehement hatred toward them. There's a lot worse out there. Chatting to a friend on the phone last night about his intense dislike of them, I can only put it down to the fact that they're just like that inexplicably annoying person who shows up in every social environment and whose mere presence irritates everyone to an irrational extreme.

I hate bands like Matchbox 20 and Foo Fighters much more than Nickelback. In fact, I don't hate Nickelback at all. I've even been to a Nickelback concert - and enjoyed it!

Stupid people:  

 And now it's cool to hate stupid people. I see these stupid people memes everywhere and wonder, "what makes you so friggin' smart?"
These memes really shit me (hey, look at me ironically hating on the haters), because when people post these things, I can automatically think of a few 'stupid' things they have done. I consider myself to be of reasonable intelligence - I'm not an Einstein - but, like most other reasonably intelligent people, I have done a lot of stupid things or made stupid decisions or momentarily forgotten my common sense. That's friggin' normal. As Forrest Gump's mumma said, "stupid is as stupid does."



No one is perfect, not even the people who post these ^. 


There's so much more, but I have to go now.

From the paws of Nugget

Yes, I am Nugget. The cutest - and most toughest - dog you'll ever meet.

I am pretty awesome and I live a pretty awesome life here in the country with my human mum and everyone else. I met my real parents once on the street, they smelled familiar, but I made sure I barked at them just so they knew not to mess with me. I'm quite tough and mean, you know.

I'm a small dog, but what I lack in stature I make up for in noise. Everyone: the neighbours, other dogs, other dog owners and basically the whole town knows my bark and everyone cowers in fear when they hear it.

I'm very smart and understand a lot of human words. The words I like most are: walk, dinner, treat, drive, car, bickies, ... well, you get the idea. My most favourite thing in the world is walk time. If mum hasn't gotten off her butt to take us when it starts getting dark, Ruby, my dog cousin and I make sure to get in her face and breathe our dog breath all over her until she takes us.

Dinner time is good, too, but the word I dislike most is bath. I hate that word and I go into hiding when I hear it. I also hate the word haircut. Mum chases me around and I know I have to give up eventually, but I do it anyway. I don't understand why I need baths, anyway. Especially when the first thing I'm going to do while I'm still damp is jump in the garden and dig a hole to China.

But getting back to my favourite things. I love when mum takes us for runs at the river. She usually lets me run off without a lead on and I can jump in the river to cool off when I want. I'm a bit naughty without my lead on, well, that's what mum says, but I'm really not. I consider it my duty to race over to people and bark at them. They have to know I'm the boss. But it's not funny when I get up nice and close to really let them have it, then realise their dogs are huge horse-like creatures. My barks quickly turn into weird squawks, but mum protects me when I hide behind her legs. 

I sleep wherever I want. Mostly on the couch cushions and people's laps. I spend a lot of my day in front of the big glass doors barking at anyone who dares cross through my line of sight. It's exhausting work, so it's usually followed up by a snooze somewhere comfy.

Something else I don't like is puppies. They freak me out and they don't smell right. Mum protects me from those, as well. Once, out at Rocky Crossing, there was the tiniest puppy trying to smell me and I thought I was going to die. I clambered up mum's legs, but she wouldn't pick me up. Seriously, puppies are just not right. I also hate the ear-piercing beep of the smoke alarm. It scares me and I get shaky and freak out for hours. But I'm not a sook.

I like ducks. I go crazy when I see them. I eat their poo and try to chase them, but my lead only extends so far. One day, ducks, you will be mine. I also like rabbits, but try as I might to cart a carcass home, mum never lets me. Yesterday, however, I got my way and got to eat the most delicious carcass I found at the park. I don't know what it was; it was pretty furry like a mouse so let's go with that, and I ran away with it so mum couldn't take it off me. I shook it about and really wanted to savour it. But mum and Ruby were in the car, so before I jumped in I swallowed it. It was the best treat I've ever had... except maybe for the half a rabbit I found in the backyard one day. But before I jumped in the car, I ran over to where I found the carcass and ate the liver or whatever it was lying beside it. I was so happy. I sat in the car grinning from ear to ear. I was so full from it, I couldn't eat my dinner. Yesterday was a good day. I hope I get my paws on a duck today.

That's all from me for now. I'm going to go back to working on my tan. I love sunny days.

Crap movies I've watched recently.

I'm pretty cranky with the crap movies I've almost sat through recently, wasting my time, so here's a list of them and why they're crap. They'll probably contain spoilers - you've been warned!

Any Questions for Ben?
I gave this one a go because I'd heard a few good things about it and I was bored out of my brain. I should have known better. I tried to watch it despite the fact I knew those windbags, Rob Sitch, Santo Cilauro and the other one wrote it. But it was shit. It went on and on and on and I if I heard Ben complain one more time about how lost he felt in life I was about to lose it. No wonder he was lost, there was no plot! Was this a love story or a 'discovering who I am' movie? Who knows? I gave up with about 20 minutes to go, but quickly flicked to the end to make sure he ended up in Yemen with the chick. When I saw a second of him wondering around Yemen looking lost, I knew how it was going to end. Yawnfest.

The Philadelphia Experiment 2012.
Oh my gods, what a disappointment. The 1984 movie is one of my all-time favourites and stars Michael Pare. Well so did this most recent one, but it was like they shoved him in just because, but his character served no real purpose. The plot was moronic and the acting was even worse. I managed to watch the whole thing, but it was like they treated the audience like five year olds. The energy levels raised by Teslas (lovers of the conspiracy will know Nicola Tesla was involved in the actual real experiment). There were so many ridiculous plot holes and the motivation for the bad guys to destroy the ship didn't make any sense. And why the hell did the idiot survivor jump off the ship in the first place? And why did the idiot cop jump on?? Only to spend the rest of the movie embedded in the ship?? Ridiculous and an embarrassment to the original.

Screamers
Oh dear. Philip K Dick adaptations can sometimes be good, but this was not. I only watched it because I'd just finished watching my favourite series, La Femme Nikita, and I wanted to see some of Roy Dupuis' other work. After the first half hour I was bored. The screamers were robotic things that screamed - making the dogs bark every time they did - underground before eating someone's face off. I think that's what happened. I couldn't finish watching it. The tough guy wasn't very convincing, but I'm pretty sure they all lived happily ever after and the only chick in the movie fell in love with the tough guy. Yawn.

Melancholia
What the fuck was this about? I watched it because I read somewhere it was about a girl with depression and really made you think. There was a strange planet in the sky and it had Alexander Skarsgard in it. Sounds pretty awesome, right? WRONG. Kirsten Dunst played the depressed chick and she was getting married to Alexander Skarsgard, but she fucked some other guy in the garden, so the wedding was over before it begun. Then she laid naked under the glow of the new planet. After that, all that happened was some forlorn staring at the weird planet, some weird predictions and if there was anything else I missed it because I couldn't finish it. Kiefer Sutherland couldn't save this snoozefest. 

Earth 2
Crap acting and a stupid premise. Earth 2 is about some bitch who killed some guy's wife and kid in a car accident, goes to gaol, starts cleaning his house but he doesn't know who she is, I think they fall in love. Then this Earth 2 appears in the sky and turns out to be a replica of Earth. Wow. Then they start talking to their Earth 2 counterparts and that's when I turned it off. What the fuck is all I have to say about this one.

Clash of the Titans 2010
 The only thing I have to say about this is why??????? Why mess with a classic?

Pineapple Express
It wasn't all that recently that I watched this one, but this is the one that clinched my hatred for all things Seth Rogen. Argh. This movie sucked so much arse I don't know where to begin. I only watched the first half before I turned it off. Then I somehow manage to watch the last half when it was on TV. Stupid story, Seth Rogen's laugh is like the sound of fingers rubbing a balloon and makes me jaw feel funny and ... there are just no words for this level of crapness.

 

A single person's lament.

I'm single... I'm also healthy, intelligent (make of that what you will) and relatively content with my life. But, apparently, none of that matters because without a significant other, I'm somehow deficient.

I can't count the number of times mum has told me all my problems would be solved with, and I quote, "a big hairy man in your bed." What is that about? You would think in this supposedly enlightened day and age, us singles would be encouraged to be single if that's what we choose instead of asked constantly by friends, relatives and well-meaning people off the street, "so, you got a boyfriend yet?"

Why is it so wrong to be single and why does it frustrate me so much that there are people who seem to give a shit about it?

I got pretty aggravated when I heard mum telling grandma on the phone this morning, "...maybe she'll meet someone overseas."

ARGGGHHHHH!

Why? WHY do people care so much if I meet someone or not? How about we focus on the awesome trip I'm going on - on my own. No man needed. That's right - no man needed. How do you feel about that?

I guess that's why it frustrates me. If people are going to think about me, why focus on the man I haven't got and on the things I've done, or about to do, on my own without one because I'm just that awesome? 

Nup, nup doesn't matter because what I really need is a big, hairy man in my bed, right? Do people think that us singles sit around feeling lonely, staring at the phone lamenting over our singleness?

FFS. Honestly. What could a man offer me, anyway?

Companionship, someone to share things with? OK, fair enough. But being an introvert means I'm pretty comfortable with my own company. I also have some awesome friends I can chat to or hang out with if I feel the urge. No man necessary for that. And besides, where's the satisfaction in going places or doing things yourself?

Babies? Not going to happen. No man needed.

Sex? Pff. Sex is easy enough to get if I want it badly enough.

Stability? This is the one that really annoys me. "When is Jennie going to find a man and settle down?" Why should that be the ultimate goal for my life?

That's not to say I'm not interested at all, I'm sure there are plenty of benefits relationships, but please stop trying to make me feel inadequate for not going down that road! I'm not actively searching and that shouldn't be a point of discussion, should it? Besides, if everyone knew the type of men I attract maybe they'd shut up about it. I don't need someone to take care of me, or control me because they think I'm just a poor, lost soul or go mental on me or think I should be grateful for their attention because I'm not exactly a super hot babe. Whatever. Although, it would be nice to have someone drive me around places. 

So, now you're probably thinking I do protest too much? Whatever. I don't think I protest enough. This blog doesn't really articulate my frustration over this. 

I'm single. Get over it.

La Femme Nikita ... and a few other thoughts.

I've been re-watching one of my favourite TV shows, La Femme Nikita, lately. Watching it again, getting caught up in the greatest love story ever told and the unscrupulous actions of the "Section" has made me feel good; like listening to a good song or reading a good book.

I love the series because it doesn't conform to typical "spy-noir" genre conventions. Even though Section is an anti-terrorist organisation, they are above all other agencies like Interpol and the CIA and are able to work autonomously. This means they can pretty much make up their own rules and do whatever they want to their operatives. I love this take on it. These aren't muscle-bound buffoons (to borrow a phrase from Skeletor), they are intelligent criminals themselves (except Nikita, but you'd have to watch it to get it) all plucked from obscurity to serve Section.


There are so many things I love about this show. I think the writing is brilliant and the acting, at times questionable, is subtle. For example, Michael is brilliantly played by Roy Dupuis who manages to convey his inner most feelings, not with words, but with expressions and gestures. It's very clever. I'm curious to watch some of his movies, but I don't want to see him be anyone else. I want him to stay Michael forever.


Peta Wilson's (Nikita) acting leaves a lot to be desired, but she got better as the series progressed. When I first watched the show years ago, I used to cringe at some of the outfits they put her in, but now I think her outfits added to the show's quirkiness. It separates LFN from other spy shows - and it doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous to look at. 


I hate love stories most of the time, but this one was so well done and out of the ordinary it's hard not to get caught up in it.

It's obvious from the start there's an attraction between Michael and Nikita and they play around with this a lot in the first season. It's not for a few episodes that anything happens between them, but when it does, it's electric. (I know, I cringed when I wrote that, too.) Michael and Nikita are undercover, posing as a couple to fool some guy who created some weird gas that kills people. They're guests at his house and he has some interesting perversions and wants Michael to watch as he screws Nikita. Micheal says no, but offers to let him watch while he and Nikita get it on.


So they go off to a room where there's a camera and it's all awkward, but as Nikita is instructed to dance for Micheal, Micheal sits out of camera range and lets loose a bomb, watching Nikita all the while. They get it on while they wait for the bomb to go off, Micheal says, "get ready" - a very loaded phrase - right before the explosion. It was hot that they had to get it on just to survive.


Then there was the time Nikita was captured and to bring her safely back into Section, Micheal had to beat her up to make it look like she was tortured otherwise Section would kill her. This scene was a testament to Roy Dupuis' phenomenal acting. His face showed how difficult it was for him to beat her up, but he didn't say anything. I found the whole thing incredibly romantic. Forget this flower and chocolate bullshit.

Another thing I loved about this show was all the unanswered questions. As infuriating as they are, it's a clever tactic on the writers' part to keep the viewer wondering and thinking until the next episode. 

I also love the "world within a world" concept and all the "what ifs" it inspires.

Section was a law unto itself and its people weren't allowed to function within the "real world". The show explored the "what if" of having a relationship with someone outside Section, needless to say it didn't work, and the "what if" someone on the outside got a little too close to discovering the truth about Section.


I like True Blood for the same reason. How it functions in contemporary society but with a bunch of vampires and other "supes" skulking around. I love how they try and fight for vmpires to have equal rights, just like we do.


What ifs are awesome and I love spending time thinking about them.


What if we were able to bring the dead back to life? (not as vampires.) Would the population numbers be out of control? What would the criteria of being brought back to life be? Who would decide who stays dead? The opposite of euthanasia.


It makes me think about people who have themselves cryogenically frozen. I love the idea of going to sleep to be awoken in some distant future. What would things be like then? Will they ever be able to wake these frozen people up? But what happens to the soul? Does it get frozen, too? How can it if they're frozen after they die? If the soul is gone and they're unfrozen, does another soul jump right in or are they soulless zombie-people? I've blogged about this before, but it still has me thinking.


Do we even have souls?


I am doing an assignment at the moment that explores the "what if" of the world being a matriarchal society rather than a patriarchal one. Women can be cruel and ruthless, but would they be war-mongers? I am pretty sure motherhood and babies would be a celebrated role, moreso than status and power... but then again... How would women keep men in line? Would they still occupy the same traditional gender roles? 

There was a thing going around a few weeks ago saying something like "what if deja vu is us dying and being respawnd like in a video game". That blew my mind, man.

Anyway, La Femme Nikita is awesome and I'm going to be sad when I finish it.

I don't get it.

Below is a list of things I don't understand. There are many things I don't understand and as I was sitting here earlier listening to a uni lecture wondering for the umpteenth time why the heck they changed what originally sounded like an interesting subject into something political and boring, yet sometimes still interesting, I started thinking about some things that I just don't get.

I'd also like to preface this blog by saying because I don't understand something doesn't mean I think it's wrong. Maybe someone can explain it so it makes sense, but there's no malice behind my words.

So, with that in mind, here's my list of things I don't get.

1. Fake tan. OK, wtf? I have been perplexed by this practice ever since a high school chum came to school one day with what looked like bad eczema all over her legs. I had never heard of fake tan before that and the idea of putting this weird orange crap that stays on there for days seemed completely bizarre! A few weeks ago I was at work and one of the chicks that works there was a bright shade of carrot! I thought it was hysterical but she loved her "tan". It faded and now she looks normal again but what is so wrong with being ghostly white anyway?

2. Numbers. Anyone who knows me knows I hate numbers. Part of my job has me giving change to people which is not easy sometimes. So before I leave, I get my calculator and work out all the possible amounts of cash they might give me and how much change to give from each. Makes me look smart when I don't even have to think about it. Sometimes I don't do this, though, and have to force my brain to work.. which, surprisingly, it can... mostly.

3. People who drive 20-30ks under the speed limit. Not only is this infuriating, especially if you're in a hurry and ten kms away from the nearest overtaking spot, but there's no reason for it unless you're driving a 50 year old bomb that doesn't go any faster. Admittedly, I've been the one driving up the highway in an old bomb that gets the death rattles and makes weird sounds when I push it to 100kms, but that's not 20-30ks under!

4. Getting old. Why???????????? I don't mind getting wiser (heh heh), but why do our bodies have to age?

5. Why Buckles is a bish. I love you, bish haha

6. Hair Straightening. OK, I get this one to an extent, but the amount of people that ask me why I don't straighten my hair or if I ever do seems to be increasing. Because I don't like to and I don't own a straightener. I like my boofy hair sticking out everywhere.

7. How people can stand to watch sport on TV. Oh my gods! Is there anything more boring?! Even the sound of the sport on in the background sends me into a boredom-induced coma from which I can only be awoken by a frenchie from Prince Charming... which means this must be a coma-dream...

8. Seth Rogan movies. How can anyone think he's funny or talented? I do not get it.

9. People's outrage with politicians. We all know politics is huge sham and not to believe anything anyone in politics says. Maybe we should take a leaf from Egypt's book and riot in the streets until the bastards listen to the people for a change. But then again, no matter what they do, someone's going to disagree.

10. Why people get so irate at other people's differing opinions. Can't we all just accept their opinion calmly without getting on our high horse and trying to force them into listening to why our opinion is the right one?

PMS and other matters.

Guess what. Tomorrow is my birthday and I have raging PMS. When I say raging PMS, I mean it. I have only left the house once so far today and already road raged and gave some moron driver the middle finger salute for being a fucking wanker! Work better not be a bastard tonight!

My next car is going to be a goddamn monster truck, maybe then dickheads will stop pulling out in front of me without their blinkers when I'm almost on top of them. Seriously. I drive a small car, but doesn't mean you shouldn't take me seriously - especially at this time of the month.

As Gordon Ramsay would say, "fooking 'ell!"

There is a reason I had a different job for every month I lived in Melbourne. That's not to say I changed jobs every single month.. mathematically, it just worked out that way.

That would have to be one of the positives of PMS. My tolerance for bullshit goes out the window and shit gets done! Unfortunately the shit I need to get done today isn't because some moron uni tutor won't answer her goddamn email. If she's not dead, I'm gonna be mad. NO EXCUSES.

I read a book not long ago about the history of menstruation. It was fascinating. Back in the day, women who "suffered" from PMS were diagnosed with "hysteria". Because how could women, who are supposed to be subservient fuck dolls for men, dare express an emotion other than total devotion to their men? HOW FOOKING DARE THEY? So, it must be unnatural and something to be treated. And do you know how they treated women afflicted with "hysteria"? Doctors would stimulate a woman's clitoris until orgasm, thus curing hysteria! I found a picture, this was an ad found in magazines at the time.

Seems funny now, right. But even today, if a woman gets cranky for some reason what do blokes (and women, too) automatically assume? Well, obviously, it must be that time of the month. 'Scuse me, but I get cranky and it's not always "that time of the month". So you can shove that one up your arse. (This is not one of those times.)

There are things I really enjoy about being a woman and there are things I don't.

I understand women can wield a certain power  over men which, I'll be honest, can sometimes be advantageous.

But there are some negatives, as well.

It always irks me when a bloke tells me he prefers natural looking women. I'll bet most men have never actually seen a completely natural looking woman. Would he still say that if a dark-haired, pale skin woman did not shave or wax herself into oblivion? I doubt it. What about facial hair? Some dark hair on the upper lip? "Ew," I hear everyone say. A uni brow? "Gross, why doesn't she just wax that shit off?" Why the fuck should she? Men get away with bushy, unwaxed unibrows - look at John Howard. He copped shit over it but he got away with it. Why? Because it's far too girly to get some tweezers up in that shit. If Julia Gillard let her grey roots grow out and let her leg hair grow a wild and woolly ranga down over her legs, there'd be a shitstorm!


And before anyone says it, I know women are just as harsh on other women about these things, but let's face it, why do most woman put themselves through the torture that can be de-hairing? To attract men. Of course, I'm speaking about heterosexual women here - I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is for gay people. They think this is what appeals to men - but you know what I reckon? Men will like what we tell them to. Once a concept is ingrained into the psyche, it becomes belief. If enough women let themselves 'grow out' what choice do men have? If they want their jollies they will just have to accept it. Women do.

And you know how the hairless leg/armpit thing became a "thing"? ADVERTISING. To sell shavers. Marketed as something the aristocratic women did, women everywhere started doing it because it was the done thing.

So I guess what I'm saying is, do whatever the fuck you want and everyone else can go suck it.

Anyway, I  really enjoyed my PMS fuelled rant and now if you'll excuse me, I am going to make a very terse phone call to a certain uni tutor ...

Keeping up with the Joneseseseseses

Well, it finally happened.

I finally caved and crossed to the dark side.

I did something I thought I never would.

I got an iPhone.

That's right. I, Jennie, got an iPhone and the stupid thing had been so frustrating ever since I almost wish I was dead. Stupid Optus are a bunch of turds. The Sim activation, I was told, would happened within 20 minutes to four hours and guess what. It's been 26 hours and it still hasn't happened. I've made five phone calls, the first of which I had to hang up half way through because I just could not understand the guy on the phone. The next couple told me to be patient, another one said the activation hadn't been put through and to wait another 20 minutes to four hours and it's been eight hours since then. My last call consisted of being told the process was in motion but they were upgrading their system and it might be delayed. I asked why I hadn't been told that this morning and she says, rather gaily, "Oh but I tell you now!"

Right.

So, here I am, itching to play with the fucking thing and all I've done is stick a few songs on it and stared at it, willing the fucking service to do what it has to.


Check again... still nothing.

FUCK

MY

LIFE


On a positive note: I AM GOING TO SEE THE AVENGERS 3D TOMORROW!!!!! YESS YESS YEssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Yesterday I took myself on a date to the movies and saw American Pie: The reunion , which was pretty much what I expected. I had the whole theatre to myself; which ruled.

That's pretty much all the excitement going on in my life at the moment. Yep.

Women and stuff.

I have just done my weekly readings for one of my uni subjects about sexual trafficking amongst Thai and Burmese women. It was pretty heavy-going.. combined with last week's work on the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa, this subject has left me rather depressed. 

When the AIDS thing became mainstream in the '80s in western countries, it was passed off as a 'gay disease', but in Africa and developing countries it is the women who are most affected because of their lack of rights when it comes to sex. Women are not people, they are objects, used and taken at will by men who feel they are entitled to sex. 

http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

I read that article a couple of weeks ago and haven't been able to get it out of my head, and it seems rather apt at the moment with my uni subject.

Is it true that even in our supposedly more enlightened, feminised equal opportunity western culture that these attitudes still prevail in men? I would say yes.  You only have to watch weekend music shows to see it is true. It never matters how the man looks, he can be 400 kilos, 150 years old, wrinkly, grey-haired and have no teeth but in most of the music clips, even the most unattractive man is surrounded by scantily clad, thin, beautiful gyrating women because sex sells. But not only that, it's female sex that sells. 

If an unattractive woman was to sit around in fur coats covered in bling singing surrounded by dancing buff men in budgie-smugglers no one would take her seriously. It'd be a joke!

Where does this entitlement for sex come from? Media? Culture? Society? Do ALL men feel this way? Is it really about sex and getting jollies? Or is it also about male ego, masculinity and power? I would say so. 

Big Bananas

I spent the Easter weekend in Coffs Harbour with the family including the dogs. The dogs are such sooks, Ruby, who could tear out the throat of the biggest, toughest person did not relax the entire visit because she is a sook and wanted to go home. She spent most of her holiday staring at the door waiting to be allowed back in the car to go home. Nugget, who I thought would be clingy and whingey had a great time exploring the new house and yard. She didn't like the long drive much, but she survived.

I finally got to fulfill a lifelong dream of seeing the Big Banana. lol. There are no words to describe my euphoria over the event so I will leave it at that.

I spent too much money and now my wardrobe door refuses to shut.

And I ate the rest of the M&Ms in the bowl which means I ate them all.

Overall, was a pleasant trip. Even Buckles' teasing me on the drive home from the pub about being busting to go to the toilet was funny. She was tipsy and saying stuff like "psssssss", "Oh, look at all that water", "drip, drip, drip", "Are you going to give the toilet a golden shower?" lmfao. What a bish.

Now I am back in the bush and today I am going to lock in some dates and book some flights for my Mexico/South America trip in November, but I don't know where to start. I want to do EVERYTHING - aaaah. I'm so excited though, so on that note, I will go plan!

Some more stuff

What's with this weather?? It's hot, gorgeous and sunny... but, weather, summer ended a month ago. Piss off. Let autumn have a turn. I admit, it's beautiful weather, but tomorrow I'm supposed to go and work in it and after ten minutes of the sun bearing down on me, every ounce of energy I have begins to evaporate. So, go away. Or at least cool off just for tomorrow.

Having said that, I have enjoyed being able to take the dogs for leisurely paddles down at the river. Except at the river I wanted to go to today there were school kids doing their cross-country crap by the looks. Ahh, I remember the one time I participated in cross-country. My friends and I walked the entire course, the other two bitches ran up to the finish with two steps to go so I came last in the whole year or something. The boys who had taken it seriously and had been sitting around for us to finish for an hour were cranky but I didn't give a fuck. Suck shit to them. Sport is stupid.

Yesterday I went and saw The Hunger Games. I won't give a review because I think reviews are stupid. Although, I just had to write one for a uni assignment. Pretty easy as far as assignments go, but I still don't like them. Just tell me basically what the story is about and I'll decide how many stars it's worth, thank you very much. Anyway, now I've ranted about not liking reviews, I will say this: as far as book to movie adaptations go, I thought it was really well done but the shaky camera movements did my head in. I don't want to feel a part of the action - I want to watch it - so fuck off with the crappy camera work.

I saw the preview for The Avengers movie and I am so excited I could crap my dacks. So, in celebration last night, I watched Iron Man. I'd only ever caught bits and pieces of it before, and even though it seemed to go on for hours and hours I really enjoyed it. I'm going to watch the second one tonight even though my brother reckons I shouldn't waste my time. But I will anyway.

I am supposed to be writing my weekly work up for one of my uni subjects and we're supposed to write some bullcrap about open and closed texts. Who gives a fuck? Not I, that's for sure. *sigh* So I thought I'd do something about Snow White being an open text, which I think means it can be interpreted different ways? Fuck, I'm gonna have to try and read the boring reading again to make sure I get it, for fucks sake.

Lately, I have been skimming so many of my readings that it's spilling over into all my reading life. I skim everything now, emails, facebook stuff, books, etc. I hate fight scenes and love scenes in books and skip them. It means I misunderstand everything and often get the wrong end of the stick but I don't give a fuck. I think it's an 'i don't give a fuck' kind of day today, which is funny because I'm not in a bad mood or anything.. I just don't have any fucks to give at the moment.

Hey, I read something interesting about the word 'fuck' the other day. That it stands for something like "Fornication Under Consent of the King' because kings used to go around fucking all the wives in the kingdom and apparently they had every right to do so.

So that's all for now. Cheerio.

Me again

Ahh, it's a absolutely gorgeous sunny day here and I am here editing assignments which are due today and tomorrow instead of outside enjoying the weather.

Actually, I went to the community garden open day earlier and bought myself a growers calendar. It's awesome because it gives you gardening tips and tells you when to sow stuff. So, if I get some time during the week I will take the calendar's sage advise and plant some broccoli, peas, cabbage, beetroot and spinach. It's also good because it leaves lots of space for me to write when assignments are due and when things are coming up because it's easier then programming a mobile phone I never carry around.

So I read through the essay of doom I managed to finish yesterday - eerruuggh. It's so boring. And it says absolutely nothing, just rehashes bullcrap I managed to glean from the readings.So it should either do really well or shithouse because the tutor, I get the impression, hates the subject as much as I do. Although, she's been really good in answering my "I don't get it" questions. I'm pretty cranky, though. When I signed up the subject was something entirely different, then they changed it a week into the study period to something boring. FML. lol.

Procrastination

I think I've finally come across the essay that just might kill me. Far out, it is the most boring thing I have ever had to focus on in my life! I'd rather watch golf, followed by a cricket test match followed by football than do any more of this. THAT'S HOW CRAP IT IS!

So I procrastinated a while on YouTube and watched some dodgy clips on aliens, the Illuminati and giant skulls and wished I could write an essay about those things instead. then I went to the shop, bought some food and now I'm here writing this because I just added another sentence to the essay which seems like enough work to warrant another thirty minutes of procrastination.

I've gotten some work at the community garden which is hell fun. I'm so aching and sore from lugging wheelbarrows full of compost and shovelling dirt and digging trenches and planting plants and I can't get the dirt out from under my fingernails but it feels good. What really surprised me when I first got there was the fact that most people there were around my age and female! :o I had assumed most people would have been older men. Which is good, because blokes take over and tend to get cranky. Shows who the hard workers really are, though - heh heh heh heh.

I gotta go work my other job tonight, then, hopefully, I'll get home in time to watch some of the Harry Potter movie on TV. hahaaa. Yep, my life rules.

On Monday, because all my assignments are due then, I will reward myself by going into to town to see The Hunger Games. Only because now I've read the first book and on Monday's movie tickets are only like $10 or something. Anyone wanna join me?

Then I'll do some more work before the weekend when we, dogs and all, head to Coffs to visit the skankus over Easter. She told me she is going to take me to her favourite shop, so I better save some money. I reckon she should buy me presents.

OK, well, I better go pull another sentence about feminism and globalisation  (fuck, I HOPE that's what I am supposed to be writing about) out of my arse.

Bye now.

Jen's Technology Jabber

There are things I love about technology and there are things I don't love about technology.

I love the Internet! You can do anything, banking, bill paying, shopping, chatting, dating if you're into that, book holidays, concert tickets, read books, download/ watch movies/TV/music, study a university degree and the list goes on.

Yesterday, after hearing another person rave about how good the Hunger Games movie was, I decided I needed to read the book to see that the fuss is about. So, without getting off my arse, I logged on to Amazon, bought the book, turned on my Kindle and there it was. Amazing. No hour-long drives into town over pot-holed roads to the only remaining bookshop in the HOPE they would have the book, no parking, no paying inflated bookshop prices for something I may or may not enjoy. I love I can do this with technology.

What I don't really like about technology is the fact I am becoming so reliant on it. If my computer died or or computer systems all over the planet suddenly crashed, I'd be fucked and isolated.

I also am still having problems with the mobile phone craze. Everyone is so connected all the time and they expect immediate responses and get narky if you are not there. I get that they are so handy and convenient but I don't like being constantly contactable or connected to the world. Sometimes one just needs to disconnect.

So anyway, back to the Hunger Games book, I get what people mean when they say it's a decent story if you can get past the bad writing. A good book should transport you into its world and make you forget you're evening reading a book. This book has me re-reading sentences, wanting to ask for more detail and cringing at some of the dialogue - and I'm only a quarter of the way through it. Oh well, can't win them all.

I did recently read a book called The Eternal Dawn by Christopher Pike. It is the latest in the Last Vampire book series, a series I got into in high school before vampires were all the rage. I love his books, I just wish he'd make some Kindle versions so I could download them all rather than pay $12 for shipping of a $0.99 book. heh

Red Dead Redemption

I finished the game I've been obsessed with for the last few days. Like a good book, I find a good game impossible to put down until I've finished it. Red Dead Redemption was a lot of fun. It is set in the old west and I developed a crush on the character John Marston. He had a very sexy voice, unlike his son who becomes the playable character a bit later.

I liked the game because it gives you moral decisions to make. You can be a total arsehole or you can try and be a good guy. I tried to be good most of the time, but sometimes I couldn't help myself.. and I'd be an arsehole.

This sounds bad, but I got a kick out of killing my horses. Don't call the mental hospitals yet because I swear, they are all explainable...

The first time I killed my horse was an accident. The stupid thing ran in front of me when I got involved in a shoot-out, so it got shot a few times. After I killed everyone, I stood over my horse wondering how on earth I'd get around New Austin now when the game gave me the option of skinning the animal. OK, I thought. So I skinned it. And sold the meat in the next general store I came across.

And so began my horse massacring. I kept thinking of inventive ways of killing them and sometimes it would just happen by accident. Like the time I was riding a horse along a train track when a train came along. Wondering if the game would let me die I stayed on the track and sure enough... we both died.

If a horse did me wrong, like going in the wrong direction or not doing what I wanted it to, I'd shoot it.  One horse I punished by shooting it once so it wouldn't die, then I got on it and rode away. A short time later the horse just dropped dead. So I skinned it.

Sometimes as you ride around the place people ask for your help. I usually try to help these folks, but sometimes I'd end up accidentally riding my horse over them instead. Oops.

There was one lady who wanted me to get her stolen horse and cart back, so I chased the thief down, shot him, looted his body, then got on the cart to ride back to the woman. I got off the cart and walked over to her and she is thanking me profusely and my character is talking about how there are still some gentlemen left in the world when I accidentally press a button and push her onto the ground. HAHA. It was rather funny. it truly was an accident, though, but since I failed in my courageous deed, I decided to shoot her horse and skin it.

A nun got in my way when I was running up a hill and I couldn't call a horse so soon after killing the previous one so instead of being patient and letting her pass, I pull a knife on her and she runs away screaming. HAHA.

Well, I had a lot of fun.

I pity the fool...

Jibber Jabber. That's what I call the noise that goes on in my head.

While I was stuck behind a cow truck yesterday on the way to Forster (a cow truck that was leaking cow excrement all over the road - luckily it was raining) I got to thinking about how sometimes it's easier to learn things about yourself when you get them out of your head and look at them again later.  So this blog is going to be for that. I'm just going to write whatever crap comes to mind in the hope that one day I'll have some grand epiphany and everything will make sense.

So, where should I start?

I will admit that I'm pretty nosy, but I try not to ask too many intrusive questions because I hate when people ask me questions I don't want to answer. Like yesterday, I had just finished doing the fortnightly Aldi shopping  - which is a huge endeavour and usually results in an overflowing trolley and a couple hundred bucks being spent. Every single time, someone will say something like, "I wouldn't want to be paying your bill" or "you've got a big load".

Yesterday, as soon as I'd stepped away from the checkout to leave an old bat comes up and asks outright how much my order was. Is it just me, or is that a bit rude? I was annoyed by her question, not because I was embarrassed about how much I'd spent but just because she asked. I didn't want to tell her just on principle, so I just said "a lot." In fact, the order came to $202. I don't mind posting that here because no one asked. Perhaps I'm the one with the problem.


The other week I went on a job interview. I'm usually pretty good at interviews if I do say so myself but this one was stupid. It was for a little job, nothing flash, but the interview was conducted by a panel of six people and only one of the questions related to the actual job. The others were like "who is your hero?" "What has been your greatest life achievement so far?" "How do you deal with conflict?"

You can't prepare for questions like that. I didn't get the job, but after the interview I was glad because I could already see there were far 'too many cooks in the kitchen.' But what bugs me is the 'feedback' I got when I asked why - just out of curiosity. The answer was something along the lines of the fact that they didn't think I would be able to handle all the heavy lifting involved :|. So, whether or not my answers to their, what I considered to be, inappropriate questions were correct or not, it came down to the fact that (they think) I am just a weakling. Whatevs, ay.

So, I'm in my final year of uni and all things going well I should finish at the end of November. YAY! I have absolutely no idea what I will do after that except that I will move out of this town. To where? I dunno. But I seem to have gotten to the point of the degree wheree the subjects have started becoming repetitive. Honestly, I'm a bit over it.

Well, that's all for now, I have to get going and get some stuff done. *sigh*