Yes, I am Nugget. The cutest - and most toughest - dog you'll ever meet.
I am pretty awesome and I live a pretty awesome life here in the country with my human mum and everyone else. I met my real parents once on the street, they smelled familiar, but I made sure I barked at them just so they knew not to mess with me. I'm quite tough and mean, you know.
I'm a small dog, but what I lack in stature I make up for in noise. Everyone: the neighbours, other dogs, other dog owners and basically the whole town knows my bark and everyone cowers in fear when they hear it.
I'm very smart and understand a lot of human words. The words I like most are: walk, dinner, treat, drive, car, bickies, ... well, you get the idea. My most favourite thing in the world is walk time. If mum hasn't gotten off her butt to take us when it starts getting dark, Ruby, my dog cousin and I make sure to get in her face and breathe our dog breath all over her until she takes us.
Dinner time is good, too, but the word I dislike most is bath. I hate that word and I go into hiding when I hear it. I also hate the word haircut. Mum chases me around and I know I have to give up eventually, but I do it anyway. I don't understand why I need baths, anyway. Especially when the first thing I'm going to do while I'm still damp is jump in the garden and dig a hole to China.
But getting back to my favourite things. I love when mum takes us for runs at the river. She usually lets me run off without a lead on and I can jump in the river to cool off when I want. I'm a bit naughty without my lead on, well, that's what mum says, but I'm really not. I consider it my duty to race over to people and bark at them. They have to know I'm the boss. But it's not funny when I get up nice and close to really let them have it, then realise their dogs are huge horse-like creatures. My barks quickly turn into weird squawks, but mum protects me when I hide behind her legs.
I sleep wherever I want. Mostly on the couch cushions and people's laps. I spend a lot of my day in front of the big glass doors barking at anyone who dares cross through my line of sight. It's exhausting work, so it's usually followed up by a snooze somewhere comfy.
Something else I don't like is puppies. They freak me out and they don't smell right. Mum protects me from those, as well. Once, out at Rocky Crossing, there was the tiniest puppy trying to smell me and I thought I was going to die. I clambered up mum's legs, but she wouldn't pick me up. Seriously, puppies are just not right. I also hate the ear-piercing beep of the smoke alarm. It scares me and I get shaky and freak out for hours. But I'm not a sook.
I like ducks. I go crazy when I see them. I eat their poo and try to chase them, but my lead only extends so far. One day, ducks, you will be mine. I also like rabbits, but try as I might to cart a carcass home, mum never lets me. Yesterday, however, I got my way and got to eat the most delicious carcass I found at the park. I don't know what it was; it was pretty furry like a mouse so let's go with that, and I ran away with it so mum couldn't take it off me. I shook it about and really wanted to savour it. But mum and Ruby were in the car, so before I jumped in I swallowed it. It was the best treat I've ever had... except maybe for the half a rabbit I found in the backyard one day. But before I jumped in the car, I ran over to where I found the carcass and ate the liver or whatever it was lying beside it. I was so happy. I sat in the car grinning from ear to ear. I was so full from it, I couldn't eat my dinner. Yesterday was a good day. I hope I get my paws on a duck today.
That's all from me for now. I'm going to go back to working on my tan. I love sunny days.
I am pretty awesome and I live a pretty awesome life here in the country with my human mum and everyone else. I met my real parents once on the street, they smelled familiar, but I made sure I barked at them just so they knew not to mess with me. I'm quite tough and mean, you know.
I'm a small dog, but what I lack in stature I make up for in noise. Everyone: the neighbours, other dogs, other dog owners and basically the whole town knows my bark and everyone cowers in fear when they hear it.
I'm very smart and understand a lot of human words. The words I like most are: walk, dinner, treat, drive, car, bickies, ... well, you get the idea. My most favourite thing in the world is walk time. If mum hasn't gotten off her butt to take us when it starts getting dark, Ruby, my dog cousin and I make sure to get in her face and breathe our dog breath all over her until she takes us.
Dinner time is good, too, but the word I dislike most is bath. I hate that word and I go into hiding when I hear it. I also hate the word haircut. Mum chases me around and I know I have to give up eventually, but I do it anyway. I don't understand why I need baths, anyway. Especially when the first thing I'm going to do while I'm still damp is jump in the garden and dig a hole to China.
But getting back to my favourite things. I love when mum takes us for runs at the river. She usually lets me run off without a lead on and I can jump in the river to cool off when I want. I'm a bit naughty without my lead on, well, that's what mum says, but I'm really not. I consider it my duty to race over to people and bark at them. They have to know I'm the boss. But it's not funny when I get up nice and close to really let them have it, then realise their dogs are huge horse-like creatures. My barks quickly turn into weird squawks, but mum protects me when I hide behind her legs.
I sleep wherever I want. Mostly on the couch cushions and people's laps. I spend a lot of my day in front of the big glass doors barking at anyone who dares cross through my line of sight. It's exhausting work, so it's usually followed up by a snooze somewhere comfy.
Something else I don't like is puppies. They freak me out and they don't smell right. Mum protects me from those, as well. Once, out at Rocky Crossing, there was the tiniest puppy trying to smell me and I thought I was going to die. I clambered up mum's legs, but she wouldn't pick me up. Seriously, puppies are just not right. I also hate the ear-piercing beep of the smoke alarm. It scares me and I get shaky and freak out for hours. But I'm not a sook.
I like ducks. I go crazy when I see them. I eat their poo and try to chase them, but my lead only extends so far. One day, ducks, you will be mine. I also like rabbits, but try as I might to cart a carcass home, mum never lets me. Yesterday, however, I got my way and got to eat the most delicious carcass I found at the park. I don't know what it was; it was pretty furry like a mouse so let's go with that, and I ran away with it so mum couldn't take it off me. I shook it about and really wanted to savour it. But mum and Ruby were in the car, so before I jumped in I swallowed it. It was the best treat I've ever had... except maybe for the half a rabbit I found in the backyard one day. But before I jumped in the car, I ran over to where I found the carcass and ate the liver or whatever it was lying beside it. I was so happy. I sat in the car grinning from ear to ear. I was so full from it, I couldn't eat my dinner. Yesterday was a good day. I hope I get my paws on a duck today.
That's all from me for now. I'm going to go back to working on my tan. I love sunny days.
No comments:
Post a Comment