It's cool to hate

It's cool to hate stuff, dontcha know? It's become an art form so ingrained in the psyche, that when I read a positive Facebook status someone posted the other day, it took me aback. I realised how rare this positivity phenomenon is. Why? Why do people revel in hating things? Trivial things? I figure mostly it's because it makes them feel superior to everyone who doesn't hate what they hate. Yet, when they do, they have to try and prove they hate it more than everyone else! Does that make sense? It also seems as though it's cool to hate certain things. So I made a list of things it seems it's cool to hate, but I, being the uncool dweeb I am, actually like. 

Facebook: how many times have you seen someone post about how much they hate Facebook on Facebook? They post things like "I hate the changes Facebook keeps making." OR "if anyone else clogs my newsfeed posting about a sporting event/TV show/celebrity death/wedding/Easter/ Christmas  etc. I will delete you." o0o0o0o0o do it, then. Go on, I dare ya! And when these Facebook-addicted Facebook haters are asked why they don't delete their account it's always everyone else's fault. "I can't leave Facebook. Everyone is on here and besides, it's an easy way to keep up to date with my favourite bands." or  "I just hate the commercialism of it all blah blah blah"... so many excuses.

I like Facebook. :o Yes, it's true! Don't hate me because I'm so uncool. I like it because it's a great way to keep in touch with the friends who live all over the place. I like that I can communicate and commiserate with my uni buddies on the Facebook page. I like reading people's boring status updates and I like looking through everyone's 9023429742 holiday or family photos. If you hate the ads on Facebook, install an adblocker. If you hate all the updates about a TV show or whatever, you have many options. Unsubscribe from the people, or, just GET OFF FACEBOOK FOR HALF AN HOUR. You won't die and by the time you come back it will have probably blown over and you can move on to the next thing on your "I hate" list.


Television: How many times have you had someone say to you, "I never watch television"? It's usually said with so much condescension you want to smack them in the nose and install spy cameras in their houses because you know they're lying their arses off. It's like they think they're so much better than everyone who does watch TV because all those people are brain dead halfwits. Well, whatever.

Guess what? I don't mind a bit of the good old idiot box. Admittedly, I mostly watch shows streamed from the net ad-free, but I'll admit to watching Big Brother. And for everyone who says that show is for teenagers with single digit IQs, I'm a full-grown adult with a triple digit IQ. Feel superior to me all you want, but I'm secure enough in myself to admit it and be judged. 

Nickelback: I totally don't understand the vehement hatred toward them. There's a lot worse out there. Chatting to a friend on the phone last night about his intense dislike of them, I can only put it down to the fact that they're just like that inexplicably annoying person who shows up in every social environment and whose mere presence irritates everyone to an irrational extreme.

I hate bands like Matchbox 20 and Foo Fighters much more than Nickelback. In fact, I don't hate Nickelback at all. I've even been to a Nickelback concert - and enjoyed it!

Stupid people:  

 And now it's cool to hate stupid people. I see these stupid people memes everywhere and wonder, "what makes you so friggin' smart?"
These memes really shit me (hey, look at me ironically hating on the haters), because when people post these things, I can automatically think of a few 'stupid' things they have done. I consider myself to be of reasonable intelligence - I'm not an Einstein - but, like most other reasonably intelligent people, I have done a lot of stupid things or made stupid decisions or momentarily forgotten my common sense. That's friggin' normal. As Forrest Gump's mumma said, "stupid is as stupid does."



No one is perfect, not even the people who post these ^. 


There's so much more, but I have to go now.

From the paws of Nugget

Yes, I am Nugget. The cutest - and most toughest - dog you'll ever meet.

I am pretty awesome and I live a pretty awesome life here in the country with my human mum and everyone else. I met my real parents once on the street, they smelled familiar, but I made sure I barked at them just so they knew not to mess with me. I'm quite tough and mean, you know.

I'm a small dog, but what I lack in stature I make up for in noise. Everyone: the neighbours, other dogs, other dog owners and basically the whole town knows my bark and everyone cowers in fear when they hear it.

I'm very smart and understand a lot of human words. The words I like most are: walk, dinner, treat, drive, car, bickies, ... well, you get the idea. My most favourite thing in the world is walk time. If mum hasn't gotten off her butt to take us when it starts getting dark, Ruby, my dog cousin and I make sure to get in her face and breathe our dog breath all over her until she takes us.

Dinner time is good, too, but the word I dislike most is bath. I hate that word and I go into hiding when I hear it. I also hate the word haircut. Mum chases me around and I know I have to give up eventually, but I do it anyway. I don't understand why I need baths, anyway. Especially when the first thing I'm going to do while I'm still damp is jump in the garden and dig a hole to China.

But getting back to my favourite things. I love when mum takes us for runs at the river. She usually lets me run off without a lead on and I can jump in the river to cool off when I want. I'm a bit naughty without my lead on, well, that's what mum says, but I'm really not. I consider it my duty to race over to people and bark at them. They have to know I'm the boss. But it's not funny when I get up nice and close to really let them have it, then realise their dogs are huge horse-like creatures. My barks quickly turn into weird squawks, but mum protects me when I hide behind her legs. 

I sleep wherever I want. Mostly on the couch cushions and people's laps. I spend a lot of my day in front of the big glass doors barking at anyone who dares cross through my line of sight. It's exhausting work, so it's usually followed up by a snooze somewhere comfy.

Something else I don't like is puppies. They freak me out and they don't smell right. Mum protects me from those, as well. Once, out at Rocky Crossing, there was the tiniest puppy trying to smell me and I thought I was going to die. I clambered up mum's legs, but she wouldn't pick me up. Seriously, puppies are just not right. I also hate the ear-piercing beep of the smoke alarm. It scares me and I get shaky and freak out for hours. But I'm not a sook.

I like ducks. I go crazy when I see them. I eat their poo and try to chase them, but my lead only extends so far. One day, ducks, you will be mine. I also like rabbits, but try as I might to cart a carcass home, mum never lets me. Yesterday, however, I got my way and got to eat the most delicious carcass I found at the park. I don't know what it was; it was pretty furry like a mouse so let's go with that, and I ran away with it so mum couldn't take it off me. I shook it about and really wanted to savour it. But mum and Ruby were in the car, so before I jumped in I swallowed it. It was the best treat I've ever had... except maybe for the half a rabbit I found in the backyard one day. But before I jumped in the car, I ran over to where I found the carcass and ate the liver or whatever it was lying beside it. I was so happy. I sat in the car grinning from ear to ear. I was so full from it, I couldn't eat my dinner. Yesterday was a good day. I hope I get my paws on a duck today.

That's all from me for now. I'm going to go back to working on my tan. I love sunny days.

Crap movies I've watched recently.

I'm pretty cranky with the crap movies I've almost sat through recently, wasting my time, so here's a list of them and why they're crap. They'll probably contain spoilers - you've been warned!

Any Questions for Ben?
I gave this one a go because I'd heard a few good things about it and I was bored out of my brain. I should have known better. I tried to watch it despite the fact I knew those windbags, Rob Sitch, Santo Cilauro and the other one wrote it. But it was shit. It went on and on and on and I if I heard Ben complain one more time about how lost he felt in life I was about to lose it. No wonder he was lost, there was no plot! Was this a love story or a 'discovering who I am' movie? Who knows? I gave up with about 20 minutes to go, but quickly flicked to the end to make sure he ended up in Yemen with the chick. When I saw a second of him wondering around Yemen looking lost, I knew how it was going to end. Yawnfest.

The Philadelphia Experiment 2012.
Oh my gods, what a disappointment. The 1984 movie is one of my all-time favourites and stars Michael Pare. Well so did this most recent one, but it was like they shoved him in just because, but his character served no real purpose. The plot was moronic and the acting was even worse. I managed to watch the whole thing, but it was like they treated the audience like five year olds. The energy levels raised by Teslas (lovers of the conspiracy will know Nicola Tesla was involved in the actual real experiment). There were so many ridiculous plot holes and the motivation for the bad guys to destroy the ship didn't make any sense. And why the hell did the idiot survivor jump off the ship in the first place? And why did the idiot cop jump on?? Only to spend the rest of the movie embedded in the ship?? Ridiculous and an embarrassment to the original.

Screamers
Oh dear. Philip K Dick adaptations can sometimes be good, but this was not. I only watched it because I'd just finished watching my favourite series, La Femme Nikita, and I wanted to see some of Roy Dupuis' other work. After the first half hour I was bored. The screamers were robotic things that screamed - making the dogs bark every time they did - underground before eating someone's face off. I think that's what happened. I couldn't finish watching it. The tough guy wasn't very convincing, but I'm pretty sure they all lived happily ever after and the only chick in the movie fell in love with the tough guy. Yawn.

Melancholia
What the fuck was this about? I watched it because I read somewhere it was about a girl with depression and really made you think. There was a strange planet in the sky and it had Alexander Skarsgard in it. Sounds pretty awesome, right? WRONG. Kirsten Dunst played the depressed chick and she was getting married to Alexander Skarsgard, but she fucked some other guy in the garden, so the wedding was over before it begun. Then she laid naked under the glow of the new planet. After that, all that happened was some forlorn staring at the weird planet, some weird predictions and if there was anything else I missed it because I couldn't finish it. Kiefer Sutherland couldn't save this snoozefest. 

Earth 2
Crap acting and a stupid premise. Earth 2 is about some bitch who killed some guy's wife and kid in a car accident, goes to gaol, starts cleaning his house but he doesn't know who she is, I think they fall in love. Then this Earth 2 appears in the sky and turns out to be a replica of Earth. Wow. Then they start talking to their Earth 2 counterparts and that's when I turned it off. What the fuck is all I have to say about this one.

Clash of the Titans 2010
 The only thing I have to say about this is why??????? Why mess with a classic?

Pineapple Express
It wasn't all that recently that I watched this one, but this is the one that clinched my hatred for all things Seth Rogen. Argh. This movie sucked so much arse I don't know where to begin. I only watched the first half before I turned it off. Then I somehow manage to watch the last half when it was on TV. Stupid story, Seth Rogen's laugh is like the sound of fingers rubbing a balloon and makes me jaw feel funny and ... there are just no words for this level of crapness.

 

A single person's lament.

I'm single... I'm also healthy, intelligent (make of that what you will) and relatively content with my life. But, apparently, none of that matters because without a significant other, I'm somehow deficient.

I can't count the number of times mum has told me all my problems would be solved with, and I quote, "a big hairy man in your bed." What is that about? You would think in this supposedly enlightened day and age, us singles would be encouraged to be single if that's what we choose instead of asked constantly by friends, relatives and well-meaning people off the street, "so, you got a boyfriend yet?"

Why is it so wrong to be single and why does it frustrate me so much that there are people who seem to give a shit about it?

I got pretty aggravated when I heard mum telling grandma on the phone this morning, "...maybe she'll meet someone overseas."

ARGGGHHHHH!

Why? WHY do people care so much if I meet someone or not? How about we focus on the awesome trip I'm going on - on my own. No man needed. That's right - no man needed. How do you feel about that?

I guess that's why it frustrates me. If people are going to think about me, why focus on the man I haven't got and on the things I've done, or about to do, on my own without one because I'm just that awesome? 

Nup, nup doesn't matter because what I really need is a big, hairy man in my bed, right? Do people think that us singles sit around feeling lonely, staring at the phone lamenting over our singleness?

FFS. Honestly. What could a man offer me, anyway?

Companionship, someone to share things with? OK, fair enough. But being an introvert means I'm pretty comfortable with my own company. I also have some awesome friends I can chat to or hang out with if I feel the urge. No man necessary for that. And besides, where's the satisfaction in going places or doing things yourself?

Babies? Not going to happen. No man needed.

Sex? Pff. Sex is easy enough to get if I want it badly enough.

Stability? This is the one that really annoys me. "When is Jennie going to find a man and settle down?" Why should that be the ultimate goal for my life?

That's not to say I'm not interested at all, I'm sure there are plenty of benefits relationships, but please stop trying to make me feel inadequate for not going down that road! I'm not actively searching and that shouldn't be a point of discussion, should it? Besides, if everyone knew the type of men I attract maybe they'd shut up about it. I don't need someone to take care of me, or control me because they think I'm just a poor, lost soul or go mental on me or think I should be grateful for their attention because I'm not exactly a super hot babe. Whatever. Although, it would be nice to have someone drive me around places. 

So, now you're probably thinking I do protest too much? Whatever. I don't think I protest enough. This blog doesn't really articulate my frustration over this. 

I'm single. Get over it.

La Femme Nikita ... and a few other thoughts.

I've been re-watching one of my favourite TV shows, La Femme Nikita, lately. Watching it again, getting caught up in the greatest love story ever told and the unscrupulous actions of the "Section" has made me feel good; like listening to a good song or reading a good book.

I love the series because it doesn't conform to typical "spy-noir" genre conventions. Even though Section is an anti-terrorist organisation, they are above all other agencies like Interpol and the CIA and are able to work autonomously. This means they can pretty much make up their own rules and do whatever they want to their operatives. I love this take on it. These aren't muscle-bound buffoons (to borrow a phrase from Skeletor), they are intelligent criminals themselves (except Nikita, but you'd have to watch it to get it) all plucked from obscurity to serve Section.


There are so many things I love about this show. I think the writing is brilliant and the acting, at times questionable, is subtle. For example, Michael is brilliantly played by Roy Dupuis who manages to convey his inner most feelings, not with words, but with expressions and gestures. It's very clever. I'm curious to watch some of his movies, but I don't want to see him be anyone else. I want him to stay Michael forever.


Peta Wilson's (Nikita) acting leaves a lot to be desired, but she got better as the series progressed. When I first watched the show years ago, I used to cringe at some of the outfits they put her in, but now I think her outfits added to the show's quirkiness. It separates LFN from other spy shows - and it doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous to look at. 


I hate love stories most of the time, but this one was so well done and out of the ordinary it's hard not to get caught up in it.

It's obvious from the start there's an attraction between Michael and Nikita and they play around with this a lot in the first season. It's not for a few episodes that anything happens between them, but when it does, it's electric. (I know, I cringed when I wrote that, too.) Michael and Nikita are undercover, posing as a couple to fool some guy who created some weird gas that kills people. They're guests at his house and he has some interesting perversions and wants Michael to watch as he screws Nikita. Micheal says no, but offers to let him watch while he and Nikita get it on.


So they go off to a room where there's a camera and it's all awkward, but as Nikita is instructed to dance for Micheal, Micheal sits out of camera range and lets loose a bomb, watching Nikita all the while. They get it on while they wait for the bomb to go off, Micheal says, "get ready" - a very loaded phrase - right before the explosion. It was hot that they had to get it on just to survive.


Then there was the time Nikita was captured and to bring her safely back into Section, Micheal had to beat her up to make it look like she was tortured otherwise Section would kill her. This scene was a testament to Roy Dupuis' phenomenal acting. His face showed how difficult it was for him to beat her up, but he didn't say anything. I found the whole thing incredibly romantic. Forget this flower and chocolate bullshit.

Another thing I loved about this show was all the unanswered questions. As infuriating as they are, it's a clever tactic on the writers' part to keep the viewer wondering and thinking until the next episode. 

I also love the "world within a world" concept and all the "what ifs" it inspires.

Section was a law unto itself and its people weren't allowed to function within the "real world". The show explored the "what if" of having a relationship with someone outside Section, needless to say it didn't work, and the "what if" someone on the outside got a little too close to discovering the truth about Section.


I like True Blood for the same reason. How it functions in contemporary society but with a bunch of vampires and other "supes" skulking around. I love how they try and fight for vmpires to have equal rights, just like we do.


What ifs are awesome and I love spending time thinking about them.


What if we were able to bring the dead back to life? (not as vampires.) Would the population numbers be out of control? What would the criteria of being brought back to life be? Who would decide who stays dead? The opposite of euthanasia.


It makes me think about people who have themselves cryogenically frozen. I love the idea of going to sleep to be awoken in some distant future. What would things be like then? Will they ever be able to wake these frozen people up? But what happens to the soul? Does it get frozen, too? How can it if they're frozen after they die? If the soul is gone and they're unfrozen, does another soul jump right in or are they soulless zombie-people? I've blogged about this before, but it still has me thinking.


Do we even have souls?


I am doing an assignment at the moment that explores the "what if" of the world being a matriarchal society rather than a patriarchal one. Women can be cruel and ruthless, but would they be war-mongers? I am pretty sure motherhood and babies would be a celebrated role, moreso than status and power... but then again... How would women keep men in line? Would they still occupy the same traditional gender roles? 

There was a thing going around a few weeks ago saying something like "what if deja vu is us dying and being respawnd like in a video game". That blew my mind, man.

Anyway, La Femme Nikita is awesome and I'm going to be sad when I finish it.

I don't get it.

Below is a list of things I don't understand. There are many things I don't understand and as I was sitting here earlier listening to a uni lecture wondering for the umpteenth time why the heck they changed what originally sounded like an interesting subject into something political and boring, yet sometimes still interesting, I started thinking about some things that I just don't get.

I'd also like to preface this blog by saying because I don't understand something doesn't mean I think it's wrong. Maybe someone can explain it so it makes sense, but there's no malice behind my words.

So, with that in mind, here's my list of things I don't get.

1. Fake tan. OK, wtf? I have been perplexed by this practice ever since a high school chum came to school one day with what looked like bad eczema all over her legs. I had never heard of fake tan before that and the idea of putting this weird orange crap that stays on there for days seemed completely bizarre! A few weeks ago I was at work and one of the chicks that works there was a bright shade of carrot! I thought it was hysterical but she loved her "tan". It faded and now she looks normal again but what is so wrong with being ghostly white anyway?

2. Numbers. Anyone who knows me knows I hate numbers. Part of my job has me giving change to people which is not easy sometimes. So before I leave, I get my calculator and work out all the possible amounts of cash they might give me and how much change to give from each. Makes me look smart when I don't even have to think about it. Sometimes I don't do this, though, and have to force my brain to work.. which, surprisingly, it can... mostly.

3. People who drive 20-30ks under the speed limit. Not only is this infuriating, especially if you're in a hurry and ten kms away from the nearest overtaking spot, but there's no reason for it unless you're driving a 50 year old bomb that doesn't go any faster. Admittedly, I've been the one driving up the highway in an old bomb that gets the death rattles and makes weird sounds when I push it to 100kms, but that's not 20-30ks under!

4. Getting old. Why???????????? I don't mind getting wiser (heh heh), but why do our bodies have to age?

5. Why Buckles is a bish. I love you, bish haha

6. Hair Straightening. OK, I get this one to an extent, but the amount of people that ask me why I don't straighten my hair or if I ever do seems to be increasing. Because I don't like to and I don't own a straightener. I like my boofy hair sticking out everywhere.

7. How people can stand to watch sport on TV. Oh my gods! Is there anything more boring?! Even the sound of the sport on in the background sends me into a boredom-induced coma from which I can only be awoken by a frenchie from Prince Charming... which means this must be a coma-dream...

8. Seth Rogan movies. How can anyone think he's funny or talented? I do not get it.

9. People's outrage with politicians. We all know politics is huge sham and not to believe anything anyone in politics says. Maybe we should take a leaf from Egypt's book and riot in the streets until the bastards listen to the people for a change. But then again, no matter what they do, someone's going to disagree.

10. Why people get so irate at other people's differing opinions. Can't we all just accept their opinion calmly without getting on our high horse and trying to force them into listening to why our opinion is the right one?

PMS and other matters.

Guess what. Tomorrow is my birthday and I have raging PMS. When I say raging PMS, I mean it. I have only left the house once so far today and already road raged and gave some moron driver the middle finger salute for being a fucking wanker! Work better not be a bastard tonight!

My next car is going to be a goddamn monster truck, maybe then dickheads will stop pulling out in front of me without their blinkers when I'm almost on top of them. Seriously. I drive a small car, but doesn't mean you shouldn't take me seriously - especially at this time of the month.

As Gordon Ramsay would say, "fooking 'ell!"

There is a reason I had a different job for every month I lived in Melbourne. That's not to say I changed jobs every single month.. mathematically, it just worked out that way.

That would have to be one of the positives of PMS. My tolerance for bullshit goes out the window and shit gets done! Unfortunately the shit I need to get done today isn't because some moron uni tutor won't answer her goddamn email. If she's not dead, I'm gonna be mad. NO EXCUSES.

I read a book not long ago about the history of menstruation. It was fascinating. Back in the day, women who "suffered" from PMS were diagnosed with "hysteria". Because how could women, who are supposed to be subservient fuck dolls for men, dare express an emotion other than total devotion to their men? HOW FOOKING DARE THEY? So, it must be unnatural and something to be treated. And do you know how they treated women afflicted with "hysteria"? Doctors would stimulate a woman's clitoris until orgasm, thus curing hysteria! I found a picture, this was an ad found in magazines at the time.

Seems funny now, right. But even today, if a woman gets cranky for some reason what do blokes (and women, too) automatically assume? Well, obviously, it must be that time of the month. 'Scuse me, but I get cranky and it's not always "that time of the month". So you can shove that one up your arse. (This is not one of those times.)

There are things I really enjoy about being a woman and there are things I don't.

I understand women can wield a certain power  over men which, I'll be honest, can sometimes be advantageous.

But there are some negatives, as well.

It always irks me when a bloke tells me he prefers natural looking women. I'll bet most men have never actually seen a completely natural looking woman. Would he still say that if a dark-haired, pale skin woman did not shave or wax herself into oblivion? I doubt it. What about facial hair? Some dark hair on the upper lip? "Ew," I hear everyone say. A uni brow? "Gross, why doesn't she just wax that shit off?" Why the fuck should she? Men get away with bushy, unwaxed unibrows - look at John Howard. He copped shit over it but he got away with it. Why? Because it's far too girly to get some tweezers up in that shit. If Julia Gillard let her grey roots grow out and let her leg hair grow a wild and woolly ranga down over her legs, there'd be a shitstorm!


And before anyone says it, I know women are just as harsh on other women about these things, but let's face it, why do most woman put themselves through the torture that can be de-hairing? To attract men. Of course, I'm speaking about heterosexual women here - I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is for gay people. They think this is what appeals to men - but you know what I reckon? Men will like what we tell them to. Once a concept is ingrained into the psyche, it becomes belief. If enough women let themselves 'grow out' what choice do men have? If they want their jollies they will just have to accept it. Women do.

And you know how the hairless leg/armpit thing became a "thing"? ADVERTISING. To sell shavers. Marketed as something the aristocratic women did, women everywhere started doing it because it was the done thing.

So I guess what I'm saying is, do whatever the fuck you want and everyone else can go suck it.

Anyway, I  really enjoyed my PMS fuelled rant and now if you'll excuse me, I am going to make a very terse phone call to a certain uni tutor ...